It's almost 9pm...and my love is already sleeping...
I have taken my computer to the sofa so I wont disturb him...
We have spent most of the day in bed...sleeping, cuddeling, and then I made love to him very,very gently. He needed that.
And I think it even eased his pain a bit.
The snow is still here, and it is getting colder...
the eveningsky bright with stars...
It is so beautiful....
I am so glad that we live far enough from the city to se the stars.
Two of them are ours...
I bought them for Sanders birthday some years ago ..
twinstars with a map so we can locate them.
A silly gift...I know, but kind of romantic too..
And he liked my gift..
This weekend it's halloween...it is not a big celebration in norway...but it's getting there.
Sunday is also " Alle helgens dag"
The day we celebrate and remember our dead
by going to thecemetary and light candels...
We will visit my babybrothers grave as we do each year..
I have tried asking Sander were his parents are burried...
if he would like to go there...but he just shuts me of when I ask.
So I leave it be...
Lately I have been thinking about death a great deal again...
of my own mortality...
It's scary to think that the next inflamation might kill me...
The most frightning is that when I am realy sick I do wish to die!
So I try to avoid thinking of it...I always try to be optimistic....but then again..
I can't shut out the realitys of life..
And I want to be prepared...
I have written down the way I want my funeral to be...
what music to play...what flowers to lay on my coffin
And I have written that I don't want to be burried...
I hate the idea of rotting in the ground!
I want my ashes scattered in the mountains...
in a place called Eidsbugarden in Jotunheimen
I want my soul to be free to fly ...
and my body to be one with the marvelous nature up there.
My favorite place on earth...
And the stars up there....man...they are realy magnificent!
3 comments:
Ravn - there is nothing wrong with being prepared and I believe there is tremendous value in contemplating our own deaths. If nothing else, it should make our living more vibrant and appreciated. From all I've read on your blog, you seem to know that pretty well.
I'm like most people, like you - I'm not anxious to die. At the same time, my belief has grown stronger over time that something pretty wonderful happens when we move from this existence to the next. Our attachment to all we know and love here creates the fear of that transition.
And I firmly believe that we do fly.
Glad Sander is home - be good to one another.
Hugz,
Firethorne
Oh Ravn the stars are so beautiful.I think youre very romantic:) and Im glad you have your love at home with you.
One day when James was very ill he asked me what he could give me cos he felt that I had given him so much.I looked out the window and there was a full moon so I jokingly said..well Ill have that moon..and he said Baby its yours....whenever the moon is full I remember that night and always know that the moon is mine.
I think you have planned well for what you want when you leave this earth.Everyone should.
I believe that love never dies and whoever we love,we live on for eternity in them.
Im with Firethorn..we do fly.:)
The two of you realy enlightens my day! And I would love to chat with you both on msn sometime! That would have been so cool..
If u want to my Msn is
ravn_15@hotmail.com
hugs and kisses
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