Not verry x-massy!

I have been to hospital again. This time to drain. It took almost a week to recover. If I can even call it that! From earthshanking pain to "only" annoying-I cannot sleep-pain is hardly a recovery. But I am still alive, and I am trying my best to stay that way.

I have nothing to write about realy... our daily life is dull and totaly predictable. Like that of an old married couple.We eat and sleep...we fall asleep in front of the telly. Fun-fun-fun!!

Sander has had some good weeks up until now. But he is back to hurting too, and yesterday the pain-attack came and he is now in hospital. I miss him already. I hate sleeping alone, but at least I can cry without him seeing. Thats kind of a relive.

And the late autumn is damp and grey. Warm for this time of the year. There is little to remind me that x-mas is soon coming up, We have'nt had any snow so far.
So no x-masy feelings at all. Besides I only have one wish for Santa; No pain! That goes for both Sander and me. Just for a week! Even for a day! I'll settle for anything now. I have not had a day without pain for months now...I long for a good nights sleep...a walk in the woods...a night out ...painless lovemaking. I wont ask for anything more, Santa...please..

please...

Ravn.

Nightwatcher...

Late night, and I can't sleep...

I am so tired, but the pain keeps me awake...Sander is asleep. He has been better for for a couple of weeks now. I am so pleased for him! He deserves to breath for awhile. To live a little. Sometimes I think he would be better off without me, but I know deep down that it is not true. He loves me..just as much as I love him.
He is my pride and joy, love and life. He is the reason I stay on this side of the dirt!

I have a full time night nurse this days. With Trine out on maternety leave I need someone to adminster my medication. And another dose of painrelive is still an hour away. Then if am lucky I will get a few hours sleep before hell brakes loose again.

And I worry about Dan. I havent seen him on msn for days now! And I know he cant coment in here...so Dan if u read this....please com on msn and tell me you are fine!

And sweet Firethorne..you always cheers me up. Thank u so much,...thanks to all who reads here. I pray that u will get a good nights sleep.

Love Ravn.