LIve from hospital...

Hi! This is me live from hospital!
I am still in here. My pain is little less severe due to the morphinepump. But I still don't feel great. I had a pretty high fever when I got in Monday, but they have managed to bring it down now.

So heres the thing: They want me to have surgery to my prostate, and posibly my nuts as well. I refuse! I can't se how messing with my damaged prostate can cause anything but more pain and a possible impotence. Hell, I don't want to be deprived of my boner! So as long as they can't garantie that surgery will help. I wont let them. No way. The possibility of spreading inflamation from my chronic inflamed prostate to the rest of my body is also significant. That would probebly kill me. So no, I wont!

I miss Sander and I miss home. He is not feeling good. So the nurses back home wont alow him to come and se me. Lasse has been here every day. Iver and Chris were here yesterday. They are going back to the farm tomorrow. Maybe we will have them again later this summer. With me and partly Sander in bad shape they have not had much fun this week.

The urologists are discussing the whole draining thing. Is there another way? Can they be less brutal? They don't know it seems. So I guess they are still going to torture me every fourtnight.

It is boring to be here bedridden, but I am in to much pain to realy care. I sleep alot and dream wiered dreams.My drugged mind can't focus on reading. And I hope u will excuse me for writing even worse english than usual.

My main problem now is Trines wedding a little more than two weeks from now. I am suposed to be her "Maid? of honour" (what do you call me? Man of honour?)and that's impossible if I lay here..:(
I missed Millas birth cause of this fucking fragile body of mine. And i just wont let it screw up Trines wedding too! No way!! I am gonna be there for her even if they have to carry me!

Looks like I am gonig for bloodtests. Have a nice day all (or my one reader, Firethorne)

Love Ravn

Shitty week...

It has been sometime since I wrote. We have been ocupied out on the farm or out in the sun in our garden, but now it is raining.

My draining last week went real shitty and caused me to bleed. I still hurt from it big time, and is going back in to hospital tomorrow to se if if they can do something to ease my pain. As it is now it totally wears me out.
I am in a hellish mood to, and no fun to be around.Since the house is full I have to pul my act together, but today I begged Sander to take Lasse,Iver and Chris to the movies so that I could get a break.
It feelt good just to be with Tim the nurse and let out some frustrasion and a flood of tears.

Tonight I have a fever, fuck...I have not told anybody yet, but I know the signs. So if after tomorrow I go silent all over again you know that the hospital keept me for the time beeing.

I am gonna try to get some sleep now.

Love from a sad, tired and drugged Ravn.

Prince!!!

Guess who's coming to Oslo! And guess who's got three tickets :D
I am so exited I can barely wait! Juli 23. And we just got to be ok that night! I am going even if they have to carry me! This is a dream come through for me...Now I will just wait for Tom Waits to decide to come to Norway:)

here he is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZhKyVfb76c