The new year...

My baby hopefully will be home tomorrow!

He has slept for almost 24 hours as usual...and they take
the tests the always take...as usual.
Tonight JanE and I came to visit ...and he was awake
but tired and a bit down...
Understandable...since they was suposed to not happen anymore..
and they still dont know why they do.

I can only hope and pray that he will get to come home in the morning.
I feel lost without him...and I miss having the rest of my family around..
I get lonely...it is not the same with the nurses...

Rein and his buddy came this afternoon and they are staying the night..
probebly cause they wont let me spend the night alone.
But I don't mind sleeping alone...Trine is just a phonecall away
so I feel safe.

As the year comes to and end I must say that I feel lucky to be around
for 2010...It could just as well have been the other way around.
So I only has one goal for the new year...to keep myself alive.
And live one day at the time...oh, that was two...
Well then ...make it three....I want my love to stay alive and well too...

Happy New year!

The end of a perfect day...

Ended with Sander having an attack...
We had a wonderful evening...just the two of us
making love in front of the livingroom fire...

And at some point I must have fallen asleep...
and when I woke up Sander was not there.
I ran downstairs and almost tripped over him
laying on the floor outside the bathroomdoor
He was not concius...and the rest of the details you already know'
from previus bloggs...
Poor Sander..

I called our Doc,(who was not in), the ambulance, and Trine...
she came first... and helped to clean him
and get some clothes on him. He woke
up shivering with pain ...unable to speak
and just crying like a baby.

Trine and me both went in to hospital with him and
took a taxi home in the middle of the night.
I am so glad she lives so near me...she is so calm
and clever and has an instant calming effect on me too.

Today I feel lonely and tired...and I hope to have him home
before newyears eve...but I dont know yet..:(

And I blame myself cause I did'nt see it coming...

Good to be back home...

We are home again after some days in the country.
It is good to be back home...even if it was very nice to
be with the family too..

I was meant to go in for draining today...but I refused.
I want this week to be good..to have a break from the
pain. I think I deserve it..
Sander and me are gonna be all alone tonight and I am realy looking
forward to it...we have given the nursingstaff the night of and intend
to have quiet evening in front of the fireplace...indulging in
chinese takeaway and each other..:)

Our part of the world looks like a perfect christmascard now...it is absolutely beautiful outside.
With half a meter of snow and icecold, starry nights.
We do realy live in a winter wonderland.
And I think I could'nt realy live nowhere else on earth.
We are so lucky to have the seasons change so much.
I could never have a green christmas...

Love Ravn

Merry xmas!!

A very merry Christmas to u all this christmasday.

I am home and alive...u wont get rid of me that easy.
We r out on the farm celebrating with Granny
and the rest of the family.

The snow is falling, and we have a great time.
I am a bit tired still...so I tend to sleep alot..
else the pain is bearable ...and my spirit is good.

Love Ravn

Update 11-12...

He is getting a little better.
And we can all relax once again.
Lasse came to stay with me this week.
He has been greate company as usual to both me and Ravn too..
And I shall realy miss him when he goes back home next week.
We hope to have Ravn home sometime by then too..

Sander.

Update 7-12...

This is not looking good...I don't realy know what to write.
He is very ill...and there realy is not much to do but wait..
Something is realy wrong...but what?
They can't find out...and in the mean time he is wasting
away before my eyes...

Sander.

Update 4-12..

Ravn is still in hospital.
The pain wont go away, but there is no sign of inflamation
this time. It seems like his body can't tolerate any more pain
or something. I am realy worried for him.

Sander.