Update 28-4

Hey, Fire and the rest of you.
This is Sander, but I guess you already knew that.

When I got out of hospital, Ravn got in.
He has developed a high fever by now,
and it is clearly a new inflamation
going on in his body.
I am scared, and I can't be with him
because of my own condition.
That realy sucks.

Granny has moved in with me.
This way she can spend most of her time in hospital with Ravn.
I am so grateful. She is the best.
As I wrote, we are scared, but not without hope.
Ravn is stronger now than he was last year. His body should
be able to cope with this in a better way than last time.

They have not managed to get his fever down yet,
but they keep trying.
And they might do the same thing they did last time.
Keep him in an artificial sleep.
So they might open up and drain properly.
That will be decided on today.

I will keep you posted,
and I hope I soon'll be alowed to bee there with him.

Sander.

Fuck..

I have not slept much.
And I have a fever now...fuck.

So I guess this is the last you will see of me in a while
or forever...

I am scared

One good...one bad..

One good and one bad thing...the good first.
Ok...it is like this...

Sander is a bit better and will probebly be home tomorrow..yey!!!!

And then to the bad...

I am in pain...realy bad pain..and I have trouble peeing.
The nurses would not let me go in to se Sander tonight.
Instead I am laying here feeling miserable.
I am so afraid of a new inflamation...I realy am.
I have no fever so far...but my balls feel swollen
and I got that good old "tennisball up the ass-feeling"
Not a very good sign...

Tomorrow I am suposed to drain... so we'll se how that goes.
Maybe me and Sander will just swap places!

Wish me luck!!!!

Damned!!

Damned!

I came home from a trip downtown and Sander has been passing out from pain twice while I am gone. Shit! He is realy hurting now and the painkillers who normally can get an elefant to sleep does'nt do the trick anymore.

Right now we waits for his Doc to come decide if Sander needs to go to hospital.
I say he does:(
He is laying on the bed next to me pretending to be asleep...but he is not.
I can tell by the uneven breathing. He is probebly trying hard not to cry.
I wish he would ...I wish he would let me hold him and comfort him and kiss away his tears...but he wont..
I wonder what ghosts from his childhood has made him this way....who made him think that pain is for sissys and tears are not leagal. His parents?
I wish he would tell me somthing about his childhood...but he keeps it all inside.

Can pain be psycik? Can the traumas he must have endured make him hurt now as an adult? I realy would like to know...Maybe if he would just talk about it, it would be less painfull for him? What do u think? I so much want for him to be out of this prison his childhood keeps him locked in..but I don't know how..not even a year in psyck...knew how....

I hear the Docs car pulling up outside now...hopefully he will call an ambulanse and get my love to hospital where he can get some proper painreleaf..

.....................................

Now it is almost midnight,and Sander is in hospital.The Doc decided right away that he needed to be there...he didnt protest or anything, so I guess he deep down wantede to go there...my poor love...

Sunny Monday...

It is a brand new week...without draining!! :))

I am so gratefull for this short brakes from pain...I think I might not be here still if it was'nt for them. I have realy gotten some of my life back..at least every other week now. And I try to go to the gym, be with friends and get my ass out of the house.

Sadly me and Sander seldom have a painfree week at the same time.
He has been in a great deal of pain for weeks now...my poor lover.
And I just hope this week he will be feeling a bit better...cause the weather is greate...and the cloud of vulcanoashes from Iceland has departed for the time beeing...so we can enjoy the outdoors-life today.
At least he can move out to the hamock and get some fresh air. He has camped out there for sevral days last week...and my beautiful, blond, browneyed viking is getting a nice tan.
He looks realy healthy...only the shiny eyes give him away.

Yesterday we had friends over for a small barbecue...Simon and Trine, Jan.E, among others. It was realy nice and I think Sander had a realy good time too...even if he fell asleep before he could eat anything.

Today I will go to the gym. I will go downtown and see if I can find some new jeans for the both of us...and buy some grocerys. And I might just go and take my little "Shampooboy" out to lunch...he is still the cutes thing...haha
I'm becoming a dirty old man!!!



A Norwegian band for u...Donkey Boy !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZPrLClJUhE

Sander spamming!

This is Sander spamming Ravns blogg out of pure boredome!
Don't be afraid he is not in hospital, but he had a draining this morning
and is feeling shitty from it. Actually he is a sleep at the moment.
But we expect he will wake up soon in pain. Needing more morph.
Trine sleeps here these nights so that she can manage his morph dosage.
And it feels safe for us both to have her here.

We had some nice easterdays out on the farm. But none of us has been in great shape so there has been many days now just waching tv from the bed or the livingroom-sofa.

Spring has come to Norway and we have had some realy warm days and almost all the snow has melted! That feels great!

I am sure Ravn wants me to throw hugs and kisses at you all. So consider yourselves kissed and hugged!! :D

See u!
Sander.