Update Saturday

Ravn asked me to tell u that he is in hospital again.
It was not a smart move to skip the draining.
But he is awake and on the mend now, and he
might come home on monday if his temparature is ok

Iver

Happy birthday to Sander...

Today is Sanders big day!!

And I still haven't got a clue what to get him...

We will be going to the mall in half an hour to try and find something..

Sander think that I have drained yesterday and is flat out on my back

and he doesn't know that Lasse and Arn is here either..

And this afternoon we will all of us here go to se him...

pluss that Trine,Simon and Milla will come..

Rein will...and Sanders friends Lilja and Ang.

And the staff in the rehab has decorated a room for us to throw him

a party! Granny has baked his favorit chokladcake...and we will bring

icecream and a bigg Norwegian cream-birthdaycake.

Me sleeping with Iver is a bit troublesome...

This morning I woke up holding him tightly..

Luckyli he was still asleep....but I wish I was not

quite so amorous in my sleep.

Now, sweet Iver has fallen head over heals in love with Arn.

And that kind of solved my consern of him coming on to Lasse

he only has eyes for Arn...lol

...............................................................................

Happy birthday my love...this is for you..

The most beautiful song I know....I love you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrKKcxB5MwY&feature=related

The eurovision songcontest...

Once again I am in doubt if I shall continue this blog or not.
I already have my scandinavian blog, and I like blogging,
but when nobody responses it only gets me down.
And the purpose of the blog is just the opposite.

In a few hours we shall go to the airport to pick up Lasse
and Arn. I wish I was feeling a little better.
I have had trouble sleeping cause of the pain, and it wont
subside it seemes...

Yesterday was a big night i Norway...
We had the nasjonal finales in "The eurovision song contest"
A tv show most Norwegains love and hate ..
And my favorit song...by my favorite boy
won the damned thing!! Yey!!
And what a win!! He got over 600 000 votes
more than the song coming in seconds!!
And Sander and me agrees tha he is gonna win
the main contest (in Russia this year) in May.

So once again from yesterdays contest...
I bring u sweet Alexander:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtVDRha4PIA&feature=related

6 am..

U know I talked about that feeling of worry I had.
That Sander was keeping something from me...
I still have it....and I can't figure out why or what it is.

Last nights visit was not so focused on sex...
we managed to stay away from each other for the first
two hours...but then we did the bathroom thing again haha
Actually...I can't see why hospitals like this hasn't got rooms
for that purpose. People are often spending up to half a year
here..and I bet there are more than Sander and me that
are desperate for sex..

Tomorrow Lasse and Arn are coming...
it will be great to se them again.
They will stay for a week borrowing Ivers room...
that means he is moving in with me.
Arn is in for his usual checkup in hospital and
tuesday is Sanders birthday.
He doesn't know the boys are coming, so that will be
a big surprize for him,
but I have no clue of what else to get him.
Besides I plan to just skip the draining on Monday.
If they insist I can come in on wednsday...but I want to
be there for Sander on his birthday.

It is half past 6 am...and my painkiller has kicked in now..
I might get some sleep.
Anybody out there wanna help me find a great gift for Sander?


I give u Maria Mena with Just hold me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtX19z_fUbc&feature=related

Oh, man! ..

I feel like I've been through a physical and emotionel avalance...
Seeing him again after a week and a half....my God!
I never knew anything could feel like that..

I was so nervous yesterday...
mostly to how I would react to seeing him in
a weelchair. But to be honest....I didn't notice...
I just saw him.... My loverboy and "Goldielocks".
And then nothing else mattered.

And I am almost embaressed to write this, but what we did
was to find a vacant bathroom and lock ourselves in there
for the evening.
I thought he could not feel anything yet, but he was just as anxious
as me...we were both shakeing with anticipacion...
and we didn't even have time to undress each other properly,
but made love in the weelchair. With me on topp.
Kissing him desperatly.
Oh, man.....
Feelt like I'd died and gone to heaven...
and he had the first real orgasm since the surgery...
and it seemed to me they were just as strong as before...
Oh, man...

But some ten minutes later the pain hit me right on spot..
I had been ignoring it all day...knowing that if i showed any
sign of it they would not let me go.
Then suddenly I could not pretend anymore...
And to my terror I sort of fell apart right there before his eyes...
tears and all...
And that was exactly the thing I had promised myself NOT
to do!! And yet I couldn't stop it...

Well he held me and comforted me
and he saw to it that I got some painkillers
and I somehow managed to pull my act together..
But I am not realy sure of how I got home..

Today I am in a state of numb happines...
Feeling even more drained than any given monday ...


A little "Gnome" form Iceland for u today...
Bjørk / It's oh so quite...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGmQXX4gSXI

Tuesday...and hope in sight

Just to say that I am alive...
I miss Sander and I have a hell of a time still from the draining yesterday...
Bu at least Iver didn't have too...

Tomorrow afternoon I'll go se Sander :D
Can't wait!!!

More Norwegian music for u
heres Silje Nergaard- the walz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik9k7fhu3oU

Valentines sulk...

I woke early this morning too...
Tired of this bloody cold...and I miss Sander so much!

Today is Valentines...and I want to be with him so much.
But as it is now...I am not alowed going there until Monday.
But Monday is drainingday...
So by Wendsday maybe...

Lasse and Arn are coming down ...Arn for his checkup.
Then I came to think of the combination Lasse vs Iver.
Hmmm... Not the best of combinations it seems...
But hey, Lasse is a grown up
I have to talk to him before they arrive next weekend.

Sanders birthday is coming up the 24.th.
And my mind is blank with ideas for his birtdaypresant.
Please help me and give me some ideas!!
We don't know yet if he has come home by then, but I hope so.
I want my lover!

He has gotten a roommate now....so we can't have phonesex either..
Hmm..... not that he enjoyed it much with no feelings down there.
But I did! And I miss it!


I'll keep on bring u Norwegian music....today my favvosong right now
Alexander Rybakk - Fairytales:) Oh ...and he is cute too....hehe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIBUzDIc1s0

The coldest morning..

It is strange how i missed you all...and you missed me.
And now that I am home almost noone is here :(

I woke up at 5 am...I have a cold and my astma is fucking.
Besides we had the coldest morning years -13f. Brrrrr...

Iver is ok again from the draining...but somewhat scared.
Cant say I blame him.
So I got the bed to myself again,
and last night I spoke to Sander on the phone until we
fell asleep. That's beacuse he have a room to himself.
But that wont last. He is beginning to feel some tangeling
in the legs. That is a good sign that his nerves are begining
to work again. And he exercise every day to be stronger.
And I miss him so much....

I got a mail from HB the other day! I have missed him terribly!
Looking forward to have him back on my MSN! :)

This is Ane Brun, everybody! And I am in love with her voice!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI0uq0MGxZE

Ivers song..

I totally forgot that Iver wanted me to put this in the blogg
about him...he says this song could be his...so here it goes..

I've seen myself, with a dirty face
I've cut my luck, with a dirty ace
I leave the light on
I leave the light on
I went from zero, to minus ten
I drank your wine, then I stole your man
I leave the light on
I leave that light on

Daddy ain't that bad, he just plays rough
I ain't that scarred, when I'm covered up
I leave the light onYeah,
I leave the light on
Little boy hiding underneath the bed
Was it something I did? Must be something I said
I leave the light on
I better leave the light on

'Cause I wanna love And I wanna live Yeah,
I don't know much about it And I never did - no,

no 17, and I'm all messed up inside
I cut myself, just to feel alive
And I leave the light on
And I leave the light on
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I leave the light on
I better leave the light on

'Cause I wanna love And I wanna live Yea,
I don't know much about it And I never did
I don't know what to doCan the damage be undone?
I swore to God that I'd never beWhat I've become

And lucky stars, and fairy tales
I'm gonna bathe myself, in a ocean well
Pretty scars from cigarettesI never will forget
- I never will forget

I'm still afraid, to be alone
Wish that the moon would follow me home
I leave the light on Yeah,
I leave that light on

I ain't that bad, I'm just messed up
I ain't that sad, but I'm sad enough

'Cause I wanna love I wanna live
No, I don't know much about it And I never did
I don't know what to doCan the damage be undone?
I swore to God that I'd never be What I've becomeI
leave that light…
I leave that light…
I leave that light on

God bless the child, with the dirty face
Who cuts her luck, with a dirty ace
She leaves the light on
I leave that light on


Beth Hart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYLqCOmPGQc&feature=related

Iver..

I am so fucking pissed!!!
Yes, they drained Iver today...
in spite of my advice of not to!
Bastards !

I find this kind of pain much to heavy for a 15 year old
to deal with... if he doesn't absolutly have to!
I mean a 15 year old is in the middle of puberty, and
his nuts hurt even without draining !
It is pure torture to let him go trough this hell...

As a result I have been sitting with a crying, shivering,
pukeing Iver... resting his head in my lap all day.
Trying to calm him and assure him that the pain will go away...
Not much help in that...because he have seen me on my Mondays..

Granma and me have decided that we will refuse
them to do this to him anymore...
not unless they have prove of him having a resitant klamydiainfection!!

I guess I dropped the bomb...

Well the hell with it...Iver wants me to tell u anyway..
He was not kicked in the nuts...when we first met him
he had a bad case of klamydia...

In short... he did not have a good normal childhood...
but grew up with relegious abusing parents...
that thretened and hit him..
When his brother fled the nest he had no one ...
So he started looking for love and afection elsewhere...
and then came in touch with the gay pickup sights on the internett.
That was two years ago......
He has since then been living more or less of grown men
buying his body for pleasure....
That kind of "love" is pretty much the only kind he knows..
(sorry there was no pretty way to tell u)


But we are changing that...
showing him love and afection the way u should show a child.
The way he realy needs to be loved..
He is the sweetest of boys...even if he( as granny says)
is a wierd mix of a skilled 40 year old casanova and a 4 year old bratt....
and we have grown to love him so very, very much.

But he does not need this bloody pain..... he is just a kid!
Damned it!!

And I will fight them !!!

By God I will !!!

Winter wonderland...

I keep waking up early.
Partly because I am in pain
and parly because the day starts early in hospital.
And I have not adjusted yet..

I miss Sander so much ...but I have Iver for company
and that helps a great deal since I can*t do much besides
laying in my bed yet. Only stupid problem right now
is that Iver likes to sleep in Sanders bed. I like it too
It is nice to have company...
It' just that at this stage of beeing without Sander
I tend to "do stuff" in my sleep...
And I might mistake him for Sander.And make a fool of myself..
So yesterday I had to tell him that. Far better to be honest
I think , even if it is embaressing.

Iver has said he wants me to tell u his storry...and I will as soon
as my brain is back ...it's kind of drugged still.

I spoke to Sander last night on the phone...he was ok
His nerves are fucking with him though...like yesterday he had
had a hardon for over 4 hours...for no reason at all.
And when he acsedenly tuched it ...it exploded like a fountain
lol... He has now renamed it "Old Faithfull"
It is a bit scary that he doesn't feel much down there...
but the doctors keep assuring him that everything
will be back to normal...it will just takesome time for his nerveends
to settle again after the surgery.

Oh, we have so much snow!! Even for Norway!
We have nearly snowed in!
Iver,Trine,Simon ,Milla and Ola had a great time yesterday
playing in it. It is so deep by now than Ola almost disapears in it :D
We have a hill just down the road...with a lighted patch for tobogans
and the slope is realy steep too so it is cool to play there.

I spent most of yesterday upstairs on the sofa...I can't sitt..and I can't walk much
So there is little else to do than watching TV or read.
Tomorrow both me and Iver is going to hospital for checkups..
And Iver might face his very first draining...
Oh, but i hope he doesn't have to....
I don't wish that pain on him...

Have a wonderfull Sunday all...

Love...

Home...

Yes I am !!!
A bit...or very realy...tired, but alive...
I wanted to go with Sander to rehab....but no can do :(
That sucks...but I can't do much about it .

They think he is going to be fine but as it is right now
he has no use of his legs and he cant pee but has to use a catheter..
It sounds worse than it is realy...
The doctors says he will be able to ...but they don't know how
long it will take. And they say the operasjon was a sucsess...
so I am not going to panic about that.

I see Iver has kept you posted. :)
Thank you for all your prayers and good thoughts

Love u all!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WElvEZj0Ltw

Update wednsday afternoon.

I have waited for Ravns friend Dan, to come on MSN, but he did not show today.
So I will tell him here what I am going to do.
I have made "Bananabread" this morning from ur recepie, and soon
I am gonna take it to Ravn and Sander with courtesy from u !
I even bought creamcheese to go with it :D

Iver :D

update Tuesdaynight.

They are both better, and they have both been awake :)
Sander is out of intesive care and they will probebly take him to a rehab unit on friday.
And if Ravns temprature is stabil he will come home on friday too.

Sorry, Butterfly. It was not Ravn on MSN only me and I was not even in or I had talked to u!

Iver.

Update Sunday night.

We were at the hospital all day yesterday. With both of them in bad shape
nobody wanted to go home. Sanders condition became more and more unstabile
during the day, and the doctors refused to move Ravn in with him until Granny got realy, realy mad at them and told them she would go out to the papers complaining if they didn't.

So his bed were placed beside Sander, and Ravn took his hand and held it thightly.
It did not take very long before Sander started to improve on his vital signs.
He somehow must have known Ravn was with him even though he was not councius and Ravn was to sick to speak.
This morning they took Sander of the respirator, and he now breathes on his own. Both of them has slept quietly all day today, so we did not see them today. Just let them rest.
Ravns teprature is still a bit high, but he is better.

Thank u all for beeing kind
Iver.