Iver is here...

They did not find anything wrong this time...
wonder what they are up to...
Stupid Doctors!
Sander will come home tomorrow!

Iver is staying with us this week. The schools are on fall-brake.
It is very nice to have him here even if he is on the cellphone smsing
with his boyfrien most of the time.
He is up in the mountains with his parents and they miss each other.
It is realy verry cute. I have seen his picture and he is realy adorable.
Beeing half Norwegian and half latino.
And you should all se the way Ivers eyes glow when he talkes about him.
Aaaaawwww...

I hope this love will last...I realy do..
But they are only 16....

Heck! I was 16 when I met Sander!
And we did last! :D

Old wounds and new times..

Sander is back in hospital.
He went in for a control this morning and
they was not pleased with one of his tests.
So he has to do new ones..neither of us is quite clear on why
and wich tests yet.

I was in to see him this evening...luckily our nurses
can drive. So Tim took me there.
It feels great to have my own private driver!
Sander seemed ok...but I don't know realy..
and yes, Dan! I gave him a kiss and a hug from you!

I am not sure that I have mentioned that Iver has gotten himself
a boy-friend! He is a boy from his class at school...and I havent seen
him..but acording to Granny he is "cute as a button"
I do hope it is for real...I don't want anybody to mess around
with him.

Oh, and I am realy glad of the resolution made in UN today...
The world does'nt need nuclear weapons...no way!
I hope we are heading for new times now...

I give u Eric Bye...he died some years ago but I loved him very much...
the song is about how u can have a good time even if u hit rock bottom..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JafWTmvnxkQ&feature=related

Two days in hell...

Well, what do you know!...I had to go in to drain on Monday after all....
That was not acording to my plan :(

So I just had two days in hell. Thinking that if the pain
gets any worse ...I'd rather want them to kill me the next time.

This morning I feel a bit better, but far from good.
Still I have to try to eat something,
and drag my beat up body out of bed.
There is sunshine outside, and my love is singing
in the shower....so maybe after all this will
be a good day.

love t u all..

Pain..

I woke up at 6am. The pain was to bad to sleep anymore.
I gulped down two painkillers and lay shivering in my bed
waiting for them to kick in and trrying not to wake Sander.

Now most of the pain is gone, but not totally.
That means this day will bbe rough.
And that we probebly has to cansel our plans
of going out to the farm. Fuck..
I know Sander was looking forward to it.
Oh...but right this moment he woke too..
and I can tell he is realy in pain too

He is silent and depressed since the attac.
And not very talkative.
I get sad waching him struggle to get out of bed.
He bites his lips and grabs his cane heading for the bathroom
and his painmedication I presume.
So I will stopp writing now and take care of my love.
I wanna hold him in my arms and kiss his pain away.
If only I could...

Everyday-life...

I guess we have esablished some sort of normal daily life now..
The nurses has settled and Sander is home again.

Everyday-life is a little strange with a stranger round the house most of the time,
but it feels somewhat safe too, and it feels good
that we don't have to bother anybody else for help anymore.

They had a bit of a rough start ..taking care of me after "the draining from hell"
But I must say all of them stood to the test!
They did'nt fuss to much, and made no big deal out of me puking my guts out.
I am so grateful that i only have to drain once a month
for the time beeing. It gives me time to mend properly inbetween them.

Autumn has come to our little town and we have already had our first night
with grades belove zero...but the days are still mild and sunny,
and have kept us buissy in the garden preparing it for the winter.

My pain is sort of chronic now...
but most of the time I can live with it.
But some days are rough on me...

I try to live one day at the time and don't plan to much ahead.
Cause you never know if tomorrow realy comes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPGPeduwfE4

Back to "the good old days"

And so we are back to base 1
Sander has not gotten rid of the attacks,
and I am going in to drain on Monday...

For a start I will be doing it once a month..
Then we'll se what happens.
I can't say I look forward to it.

Well have now officially became a small nurses-station.
From this Monday on we will have three mail nurses
going on shift from 8 am to midnight.
Then Trine takes over as our "call-for" nightnurse.
It's gonna be a bit weired to have total strangers in
the house at all hours, but at least it is gonna take a load
of our family. (it will certanly cramp our sexlife)
But allas we made sure they where ok with the fackt that we are
gay and found out that two of them where too.
And the third did'nt mind.

So let the show begin on monday..with me at my most charming
behaveior.Puking and passing out from draining...hehe