Surprise-surprise!

In my life...whenever someone close has died. There has always been someone new beeing born. But this time it did not look like that was gonna happen.

But life is full of surprises!
Yesterday My beloved best friend Trine told us that she is gonna have another baby:) Yey!!

Millas dad, and her boyfriend, Simon is at last ready with his education...and is moving back here. The baby was not quite planned yet, but shit happens!
So now we are looking at a wedding, a new baby, and they need a place to live to start the new life as a family.

We have been talking about trying to find a place with two apartments, but they are hard to come by. But we want to live near to each other. So we will intesefy the searc. Trines baby are due medio September. And is going to be a boy!!! I just know it is! :))

It is hard...

Once again back from hospital and draining...and this time might be the last time that I have to stay in hospital afterwards. Our nurses are learning how to adminster my drugs and adminster the morph cat. I should look forward to it, but I am not sure I do..I can get more rest in hospital, and I can give a fuck about other people than myself. At home I always feel I have to pull my act together as not to scare the others with my pain. And it has been nice to think of nobody but me.
It also mean we will have nurses here all night the first nights after draining. So much fuzz over me...

Trine and Sander came to visit me in hospital last night.Trine is looking great this days, she has a certain glow about her. Maybe beacuse Simon is finaly done with school this spring, and they can find a home of their own to move in to with Milla.
We have been talking a little about trying to find a two-apartments-house that we could share. But i dont know yet how realistic that is. I like the idea though.

I am still thinking a lot of Arn, and of Lasse...of how his life is going to change now. In time he will get a new lover for sure...but he will have to adjust to a life without Arn first. We all will have to adjust...

I remember the first time I saw him...the first time he and Lasse came to stay with us. Long blonde hair in a ponytail, brown skin, jeans-overall(i dont know the english name for jeans with suspenders sort of) nothing underneat, a blue baseballcap,shy blue eyes, red converses on naked feet under roolled up jeans. He was so unbeliveable handsome and hot! He could have been a male modell for sure....and who knows...he might have ...if he had been well. It was the same beautiful Arn i saw for the last time laying in his coffin...and my first thought was: How can they burn him!! He is much to beautiful! They just cant!! Sick, I know..

But now they have...and the worlds most beautifull boy has gone out of time....man..it is hard. So fucking hard.