Agony..

It's still night sort of..but I hurt like hell and can't sleep.
Hard even to write now.
Just wanted to say that I had such a good time talking to a new friend
on MSN yesterday! That was so cool :)

Right now life is so uncool..
I lay here shivering from pain...biting my lips.
Trying to be quiet so I won't wake Sander.
Trying not to cry...
I only partly succed...

-"Baby"? his voice tired beside me.
-"You in pain, lover?" he reaches out a hand and strokes my cheek..
already kind of wet...
-"Hey, come here" he gathers me up in his arms.
Kisses my tears away.
Kisses my forehead and my mouth.
I try to relax...try not to shiver..
But I can't stop the tears...
-"It's ok" he wispers.
-"You can cry sweetie".
I bury my face against his neck and the dam of tears sort of bursts open..
I can't take much more of this...I realy can't...
fuckk..