Bitching...

I have been a bitch today..
But when I hurt like this..when the pain
keeps me on the edge of crying all the time
I can't stand it if anybody tries to confort me
at least not Granny or Iver...
I do feel mean....but that's the way I feel.

But when trine came around this morning
I let her lay in bed with me ....and stroke my back.
Then I fell asleep for awhile on her arm.
Think I have a problem with showing Iver my tears.
I am suposed to be the strong one...to suport him
not the other way round.

Sander has tryed to get a leave from rehab
to come home and be with me..
But they wont let him:(
That is ok...I realy don't want him to see me
like this either...