Again...

It happened again...

He took three steps sideways and kind of colapsed on the kitchen floor...
I knelt behind him as usuall...Milla was thank God asleep on moms bed.
He looked like he was unconcious...
That gave me time to call the ambulanse and Trines mom...I pulled him up a bit so he could rest agains my thighs...to ensure that he could breath freely. He was shaking....but he didn't wake up.
Trines mom came...he woke up..puked, tears streaming ...
I tried to calm..to comfort...no could do...when the ambulance arived we were both crying.
I went in with him...sat in the back and held his hand...feelt it tremble..and I couldn'tstop my tears..

The ambulance drivers knows us...the one back there with Sander and me is sweet...trying everything in his power to smooth the ride...

They took him straight to the intensive care unit...his hand in mine...I refused to let him go..
I hold him through the ultrasound and the injection...I watched as they catheterized him.
After he passed out from the shot...
Slowly his body stoped shivering...and only the white part was visible in his eyes..and his hand feelt limp in mine...

The head nurse stroked my hair...-"Are you ok Ravn"?
I dried my tears in a desperate move to pull myself together and wispered...-"Yes"...
As they moved Sander over to a bed and into a room...she took my sweater to clean of Sanders puke..sat me down in the nurses station and gave me a cup of tea..

I took a cab home...through a wintercold crowded Oslo...
Feelt so damned lonely ...feelt lost..

I don't see why it's necesary that he is in so much pain...
God can give it to me instead...


When the rain is blowin' in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawlin' down the avenue
No, there's nothin' that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

Though storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regrets
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothin' like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love.

Bob Dylan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WVyanm14EI