Shame on me...

I feel like a pervert!

Maybe because I am unsure were to draw the line.
I wont try to create an excuse...I have a free will...but
even so I am a bit ashamed.
I don't want to have sex with anyone but Sander IRL..
I have ...a few times though, and he knows about those
kind of desperate acts.
But why is it that when he is in a very dificult situasjon
like this ...I always seem to endulge in cyber-sex?

Some of you just smile out there and say...no big deal.
And maybe it isn't. But it makes me feel filthy in some way.
Mostly I think because I can't seem to let it bee.

I come home from hospital...I feel like shit...
but when my painkillers kicked inn the last two nights
I have "played" in cyber half the night.
Mostly with the boy's I used to play with the last time we had this situasjon.
I know that Sander doesn't care if I do...
and that my body needs to get of.
But still I don't feel good about it.

I tried to Talk to Trine about it last night on our way home from the
hospital. But she just thinks I am a horndog!
(Wich I am) And that realy doesn't help much:(

Murmel and me hadn't done this for a long time now.
And he is kind of shy about realtime roleplay...and thats kind of cute.
And I get on big time by getting him of that way...
Sweet thing...

But afterwards I feel ashamed of myself...and kind of dirty.

Shame on me :(