We are both so very tired. And I can read the pain in Sanders face
as he surely can in mine. We have had a beautiful summer day here..
but we have been downstairs in our cool bedroom sleeping it away.
Just laying there holding each other ...and sleept, healed, trying to gain strenght again.
It feels so good to be so close..we dont have to talk. The feel of each others bodys
is so comforting and calming...
Only bother these days is I need to "drain" at least once a day...docters order...
but It hurts and I can't say I am my usuall horny self...but with Sanders loving help I do ok..
and I love to give back...no matter what shape I am in I just love to watch him
let go of the controll..and surender...
The days float by in one big lump...I am a bit depressed and sad..
over what I can't say for sure...maybe it is a just a feel of life passing me by.
Of not beeing able to partisipate...
Or knowing that it might be the last summer.
We are both going in to hospital tomorrow for checkups...and then hopefully
we will take Iver home with us.
A Norwegian lullaby to the town Trondhjem...where my dad lives...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RVkIEEETgc
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"Or knowing that it might be the last summer"
Such a definite statement on something that it is actually impossible to know. Not to be morbid, but for every single one of us, it could be our last moment.
Now - in the arms of your guy, at home, resting. Now. It is all we have. Next summer will take care of itself.
I had lunch yesterday with a former co-worker who's had a pretty rough time of it over the last couple of years. During our conversation she got weepy and kept apologizing to me and saying over and over "I thought I was over this..."
I tell you this only because when we've taken a beating - physically like you or mentally like her - we need to recover. More importantly, we need to give ourselves room to have all the feelings that go with it - anger, depression, sadness, melancholy, weeping. You don't have to have a reason for feeling the way you do. That's how we move toward healing.
And rest, too - so you do that!
Keeping you close in my heart, Ravn - Firethorne
Thank u so much...
U beautiful man.
Love...
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