I feel sort of empty these days.
I don't have much to write about.
Everybody keeps going on and on about what I should eat and drink...
how I should rebuild my body,
strenghten my imunesystem, live my life... aso.
It is driving me mad..
The summer seem to be put on hold.
The days have been cold now and it rains.
Suits my mood...I admit ..I am depressed.
I have a realy hard time seeing whats the fucking point
with this thing caled life.
I am realy tired of it. I am sorry...I honestly am..
It must be a thousand years since the endless,
happy chain of unused summerdays
lay streched out before me ...for me to fill with anything I wanted.
Before returning school late in august...content, ready for a fresh go.
I spend my days walking from my bed up to the sofa
in the livingroom or out to the hammock on the sundeck.
And I sleep my life away.
The pain medication keeps me from reading or doing anything worth while...
I can't focus.
Ok I am basking in selfpity...
I hate this..
About Me
- Ravn...
- Norway
- My name is Ravn...meaning raven in english.. Norwegian,boy,gay, 25 year old, In love with the 70ts. Tom Waits,vampires, and Italien movies. I live with my boyfriend in our very own house. Both of us struggles with chronic diseases, but love helps us survive. (My God! That was pathetic)
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Thank's Leo !!
2 comments:
Hi Ravn.
You have every right to feel the way that you do..everythings been very hard for you lately and now you just need to rest and let your body heal.
Theres a difference between feeling nothing and just feeling sad..Im sure that after they put your body into a coma,all kinds of brainwave disturbances happen.
Just be kind on yourself.
Have some hope that things will get better and take each day,hour by hour..feel the sun and dont worry.
I love you xoxox
Hi, Ravn - I do hope you won't continue to be so hard on yourself although it is quite easy to understand. The experience you and your family are having is exhausting. I know it is certainly exhausting to read about it so I can only imagine what it is to live it. If it didn't take a toll, I'd be asking you to bless my child (if I had one) because you'd certainly be a saint.
"Self-pity" might not be the best way to describe what you're experiencing because it indicates both something negative AND something you can control. I don't think either applies, Sweetie.
Continue to rest, allow a little fussing over you :)
Love,
Firethorne
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