Sunday, foggy Sunday....

Another week has gone by...and tomorrow it is "Draining-Monday" once more...
I can't say I look forward to that...but at least we had a fine Saturday..spending it in the city, shopping for some books and grocerys and eating lunch. We still have to much snow for Sander to use his weelchair but we can park in the handicap spaceses so he does'nt have to walk that far.

Our hunt for a new house has not yet payed of...but the search is still going on, and maybe spring is a better time to find a new home. Nothing seems tempting in the middle of all this snow.

We worry a bit about my brother.The police had a razzia where he lives and he was arrested along with 6 other HA's that was present at the moment.That's all we know so far...and I begin to think that it is about time he gets on with a life outside HA...cause he is realy not a criminal. But the sweetest, gentlest boy I know.

Today we are kneedeep in fog. So no going out. Sander still sleeps, but I am starting breakfast hoping it will wake him up. It is late and I am realy hungry.
And I better eat all I can today...the next three days I wont be able to..

I hope you have a less grey and foggy Sunday!

Love Ravn.

I hate January....

It is so grey and cold ...and so un-festive!

Christmas is gone and before us lays an endless row of winterdays
until one can get the slightest glimpse of spring.
And after the most perfect, snowy , cold Christmas... the weather has decided to go for rainstorms and heavy wind. Not cosy at all!!

January is suposed to be the time for new beginnings, for hope and optimism...
Well....our January has been a pain in the ass so far. And it culiminated with Sander having an attack yesterday evening..my poor baby..
This time non of us saw it coming...so it took us completely by surprise.
So now he is back in hospital...and I am here feeling blue.

I wish I had something to do, something to look forward to, some goal to achive...
I feel so useless and idle.Is this rely all life has to offer at 24?
I know I should be content just for beeing alive, but I would like to be useful as well...not just a burden....sigh.

Maybe I can just blame it on January...my inside gets just as colourless and grey as the outside world.

Wel, today Milla has a cold and can't go to playschool. So I have volunteered to take her so Trine can go to work. That at least should be something to look forward to. Even if she wears me out compleatly:) But spending time with her is such a gift. She helps me see the little things in life from her point of view....so if anybody could cure my case of the Januryblues it must be sweet Milla.

I hope u all feel a tad more optimistic this grey January Tuesday...take care.

Love Ravn.

A brand new year!

Happy new year to all of you out there who still take time to read about our miserable life!

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I am back home from my first draining in 2011. Hellish as usual.

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But....we had the most wonderful Christmas!!
We where back from grannys house on the farm the day after New year...
So we spent over a week with the family. A little crowded at first. But then Iver went with his BF's family up to mountain to ski...and Sander and me got a room to ourselves...

Christmas eve...witch is the big day in Norway...we where all in the big Farmhouse with Ma and Stephan and the kids living there for the moment..Eating good food, playing games and having a good time. Then Nissen (santa sort of) came with gifts for all... pulling a sled through the snow with a lamp lighting up the cold winter night.

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Sander and me did not take the presents we got for each other over to the house.. but opened them late that night when we were back at grannys house by over selves.

So now I can reveal what I got for sander. I bought him a gold ID bracelet...on the plate it says "currage" on one side...and the inside says "eternal love"..
And he loved it! He has not taken it of since he got it:)

And I got the most beautiful present too...a Litho made of a Norwegian artist that I love called Kåre Tveter...it is so beautifull and special and I think the most wonderful gift I have ever gotten....exept for this house of course!

Today it is "Thirteenday-eve" in Scandinavia...the day before the 13th day of Christmas and the day it ends for most folks. So Friday we take away all the Chritmas decorations...wich is not quite as festive as putting them up....sigh...

So we will eat the last of the Chrismasfood, drink the last of the Julmust( Sweedish drink)...and have a good time for two more days.

Merry Christmas to all...

So there! I am finaly done with the christmaspresents!

I am pleased to say that this Christmas I have bought them all by myself.
It is a long time since that has happened. But this year i think we both will be ...if not well...then fairly ok...and out of hospital.
I just have to go in to drain tomorrow...and should be out Wendsdaynight if everything goes ok. Then Christmas can come.

I wont tell you what I have got for Sander...incase he sneaks here to read. He is like a baby concerning Christmas...so exited and bright eyed and full of joy
...
Half the Christmas joy for me is watching him.He was not used to celebrate Christmas as a kid...and had realy no good Christmasmemories when we met and he got to spend his first real christmas with my family. He was totaly overwhelmed by it all and after opening all his presents I found him sobbing face down on his bed...totally exhausted form emotions. There and then I made a promise to myself to make every Christmas special for him...and I have realy tried my best...
I know he is dying to find out what I am getting him, but...hey, love...if you reads this..It is all hidden at Trines! No use to search! :)
You wont get any until Christmaseve...

I guess I will say Merry Christmas to you all now...in case I don't see you before we go to the farm on Thursday.

May you all have wonderful Christmas...may the world keep peace...and my your God be with you...

Love Ravn.

I found this old cartoon on u-tube...so beautiful..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8stkqssLYc&feature=related

Way to early...

It is early in the morning...Sander is asleep, and I am alone in the house. The nurses does not come in until 8 am. It is 6 now.

Riding a sled/tobogan with an 3 year old in your lap is not very good idea with my condition...I hurt from it still..and I need something stronger than my usual painkillers to take the pain away...so I wait for the nurses to come.

I hold my breath these days. Hoping that this christmas we both will keep out of hospital. I am going in to drain on Monday, but I am going to be home by Wednsday eve. So I cross my fingers for Sander. He must not get an attack now....

Our relationship has come to a new level sort of....since he told me everything... he dares to be compleatly "naked" in our lovemaking...taking it to new levels...it is so wonderful...and we cant get enough of each other. My love for him is the single most important thing in my life...and it grows stronger...even after all this years.
I can see he is getting weaker, more fragile....and it scares the shit out of me.
He is my life...I want him to get better....not weaker..
I set my hope on the wheelchair....the new house...that must make a difrence...
It must help !!!

It takes some time writing this.... I can't sit down for very long at the time couse of the pain...fuck...in half an hour they will be here...and I hopefully get some relive...I am suposed to go chritmas-shopping today...but I guess I have to take a raincheck on that. Or send someone to do it for me later...
I am buing Milla her first iceskates for christmas...and Trine will get a pair too:)
I am not writing what I am getting for Sander...in case he peaks here!!
But the others will get music or dvds all around...

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Ah, sweet relive....the pain is finaly wearing of...and I will go back to bed to sleep for a while in my lovers arms...
Have a great day out there everyone...

Love Ravn.

I am so sorry...

I am sorry that I have been silent for so long...but I have not been in the mood for writing.

Our smal lives goes on without much happening...draining, hospital...nothing exiting.We are looking for a new place to live,
but have not found the perfect spot yet.
Sander is still waiting for his weels...and Christmas is coming up.

We are going to spend it out on the farm...but still we like to decorate our house as well.... and presents have to be bought and giftwrapped...so we have two pretty buissy weeks ahead. Desember so far has been freezing cold...but oh, so beautiful!
We realy do live in a live christmascard!

This Saturday we have spent at home....watching chritmasmovies on dvd and eating oranges and nuts.(and had a little tiny zip of the Christmasbrew) Sander has made two English Fruitcakes that are soaking in cognac until they shall be dressed in marzipan and eaten chrustmas-eve... They are realy deliciuos!

Tomorrow we are suposed to go toboganing with Milla....if the day is not to freezing that is.

I will give you this years biggest Christmas hit from Norway. Film music...Maria Mena sings "Home for christmas"....enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWnNt75kUz8

Moving...

We're both back home...but I am not feeling so good.

We spent the weekend out on the farm, and we realy had a good stay, but I hurt most of the time, and it wore me out. I was suposed to go in to drain on Monday, but wisely Espen decided that I should not. I am glad. Instead the pain intensified and I started passing out from it...not so nice. So I had to go to hospital after all.

I'm home now, still hurting but the pain is less fierce...

Sander and I are talking about moving. We have discussed it with Granny, and she thinks it is a good idea.
We might not sell this house, but rent it out...and that way subside buying another house or flat. We have not decided wich.

Sander seems relived about me knowing...and I have known for a long time about him having to use a wheelchair..and it doesnt change anything concerning my love for him.
It realy doesn't!!
And hopefully his pain will ease up when his back gets less strained too...
The hospital has sugested that he might start using a chair outside already...cause the pain he gets from walking is getting more and more severe..
I am glad...that way we can get around more...without him struggeling with walking and hurting.I can tell that he is too, even if he wont admitt it.

It is fun looking at houses...getting a glimpse into other peoples lives.
But we have not found the optimal place yet...but no sweat...we're in no hurry.
We will find the perfect home for us...I know we will:))