Way to early...

It is early in the morning...Sander is asleep, and I am alone in the house. The nurses does not come in until 8 am. It is 6 now.

Riding a sled/tobogan with an 3 year old in your lap is not very good idea with my condition...I hurt from it still..and I need something stronger than my usual painkillers to take the pain away...so I wait for the nurses to come.

I hold my breath these days. Hoping that this christmas we both will keep out of hospital. I am going in to drain on Monday, but I am going to be home by Wednsday eve. So I cross my fingers for Sander. He must not get an attack now....

Our relationship has come to a new level sort of....since he told me everything... he dares to be compleatly "naked" in our lovemaking...taking it to new levels...it is so wonderful...and we cant get enough of each other. My love for him is the single most important thing in my life...and it grows stronger...even after all this years.
I can see he is getting weaker, more fragile....and it scares the shit out of me.
He is my life...I want him to get better....not weaker..
I set my hope on the wheelchair....the new house...that must make a difrence...
It must help !!!

It takes some time writing this.... I can't sit down for very long at the time couse of the pain...fuck...in half an hour they will be here...and I hopefully get some relive...I am suposed to go chritmas-shopping today...but I guess I have to take a raincheck on that. Or send someone to do it for me later...
I am buing Milla her first iceskates for christmas...and Trine will get a pair too:)
I am not writing what I am getting for Sander...in case he peaks here!!
But the others will get music or dvds all around...

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Ah, sweet relive....the pain is finaly wearing of...and I will go back to bed to sleep for a while in my lovers arms...
Have a great day out there everyone...

Love Ravn.