Merry Christmas to all...

So there! I am finaly done with the christmaspresents!

I am pleased to say that this Christmas I have bought them all by myself.
It is a long time since that has happened. But this year i think we both will be ...if not well...then fairly ok...and out of hospital.
I just have to go in to drain tomorrow...and should be out Wendsdaynight if everything goes ok. Then Christmas can come.

I wont tell you what I have got for Sander...incase he sneaks here to read. He is like a baby concerning Christmas...so exited and bright eyed and full of joy
...
Half the Christmas joy for me is watching him.He was not used to celebrate Christmas as a kid...and had realy no good Christmasmemories when we met and he got to spend his first real christmas with my family. He was totaly overwhelmed by it all and after opening all his presents I found him sobbing face down on his bed...totally exhausted form emotions. There and then I made a promise to myself to make every Christmas special for him...and I have realy tried my best...
I know he is dying to find out what I am getting him, but...hey, love...if you reads this..It is all hidden at Trines! No use to search! :)
You wont get any until Christmaseve...

I guess I will say Merry Christmas to you all now...in case I don't see you before we go to the farm on Thursday.

May you all have wonderful Christmas...may the world keep peace...and my your God be with you...

Love Ravn.

I found this old cartoon on u-tube...so beautiful..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8stkqssLYc&feature=related

Way to early...

It is early in the morning...Sander is asleep, and I am alone in the house. The nurses does not come in until 8 am. It is 6 now.

Riding a sled/tobogan with an 3 year old in your lap is not very good idea with my condition...I hurt from it still..and I need something stronger than my usual painkillers to take the pain away...so I wait for the nurses to come.

I hold my breath these days. Hoping that this christmas we both will keep out of hospital. I am going in to drain on Monday, but I am going to be home by Wednsday eve. So I cross my fingers for Sander. He must not get an attack now....

Our relationship has come to a new level sort of....since he told me everything... he dares to be compleatly "naked" in our lovemaking...taking it to new levels...it is so wonderful...and we cant get enough of each other. My love for him is the single most important thing in my life...and it grows stronger...even after all this years.
I can see he is getting weaker, more fragile....and it scares the shit out of me.
He is my life...I want him to get better....not weaker..
I set my hope on the wheelchair....the new house...that must make a difrence...
It must help !!!

It takes some time writing this.... I can't sit down for very long at the time couse of the pain...fuck...in half an hour they will be here...and I hopefully get some relive...I am suposed to go chritmas-shopping today...but I guess I have to take a raincheck on that. Or send someone to do it for me later...
I am buing Milla her first iceskates for christmas...and Trine will get a pair too:)
I am not writing what I am getting for Sander...in case he peaks here!!
But the others will get music or dvds all around...

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Ah, sweet relive....the pain is finaly wearing of...and I will go back to bed to sleep for a while in my lovers arms...
Have a great day out there everyone...

Love Ravn.

I am so sorry...

I am sorry that I have been silent for so long...but I have not been in the mood for writing.

Our smal lives goes on without much happening...draining, hospital...nothing exiting.We are looking for a new place to live,
but have not found the perfect spot yet.
Sander is still waiting for his weels...and Christmas is coming up.

We are going to spend it out on the farm...but still we like to decorate our house as well.... and presents have to be bought and giftwrapped...so we have two pretty buissy weeks ahead. Desember so far has been freezing cold...but oh, so beautiful!
We realy do live in a live christmascard!

This Saturday we have spent at home....watching chritmasmovies on dvd and eating oranges and nuts.(and had a little tiny zip of the Christmasbrew) Sander has made two English Fruitcakes that are soaking in cognac until they shall be dressed in marzipan and eaten chrustmas-eve... They are realy deliciuos!

Tomorrow we are suposed to go toboganing with Milla....if the day is not to freezing that is.

I will give you this years biggest Christmas hit from Norway. Film music...Maria Mena sings "Home for christmas"....enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWnNt75kUz8

Moving...

We're both back home...but I am not feeling so good.

We spent the weekend out on the farm, and we realy had a good stay, but I hurt most of the time, and it wore me out. I was suposed to go in to drain on Monday, but wisely Espen decided that I should not. I am glad. Instead the pain intensified and I started passing out from it...not so nice. So I had to go to hospital after all.

I'm home now, still hurting but the pain is less fierce...

Sander and I are talking about moving. We have discussed it with Granny, and she thinks it is a good idea.
We might not sell this house, but rent it out...and that way subside buying another house or flat. We have not decided wich.

Sander seems relived about me knowing...and I have known for a long time about him having to use a wheelchair..and it doesnt change anything concerning my love for him.
It realy doesn't!!
And hopefully his pain will ease up when his back gets less strained too...
The hospital has sugested that he might start using a chair outside already...cause the pain he gets from walking is getting more and more severe..
I am glad...that way we can get around more...without him struggeling with walking and hurting.I can tell that he is too, even if he wont admitt it.

It is fun looking at houses...getting a glimpse into other peoples lives.
But we have not found the optimal place yet...but no sweat...we're in no hurry.
We will find the perfect home for us...I know we will:))

I am home and Sander's in hospital...

I am back home!

Well, the day before Sander had another attack..so we actually haven't seen each other at all. He is still in hospital and I am going back in tomorrow when he gets out due to a swollen nut...yuck..
Hopefully they drain it in some way and I can go home with him.

The inflamation gave in sooner this time...thank God! I am glad:))


Talking to Dan this weekend I realise that Sander and I have walked around with the same knowledge thinking that the other didn't know. I was afraid to talk about it cause I didn't know how he felt. Same with him. We can be so stupid sometimes.

The thing is... Sanders capability to move is not getting any better...if anything he is worse...and the hospital says he might need a wheelchair ....how soon nobody knows. Our house has three floors. Very unpractical for Sander already, and useless in a wheelchair. So I have began thinking of getting us someplace else.
A house or a flat where all the rooms are on the same floor. Somewhere nearby here.
This means to sell or to rent out my childhoodhome, but that realy is ok with me.
I can be happy anywhere with him, and it would be greate having all the rooms on the same floor and maybe a nice sundeck!

I am so looking forward to discuss this with him.
If we only could be together soon!

Wish me luck tomorrow!

Love Ravn.

Update 11-10...

It looks like he is fighting the inflamation of this time! They have kept him sedated in hospital and yesterday they begun to wake him.

I have not been able to be with him much, cause I've had som bleeding the last week and was ordered to stay in bed. Then after that I got a realy bad cold.
So here I am in bed at home missing him terrebly.

By the end of this week I will have him here with me I hope :)

Sander

Here we go again...

Ravn is once again in hospital.

It looks like the dreaded inflamation is back.
Nothing to do now but to wait.

I am scared.

Sander.