I have survived another draining..
and they have kept me in hospital until yesterday.
I am ok now, just tired.
All my thoughts and all my concern this days are about Sander.
And how he has mannaged to keep his secret all this years.
He is so strong...maybe too strong.
And now he is suddenly more with drawn than ever.
I can see why, and I'm not fussing...but I am afraid.
I don't want him to suffer anymore...and I am scared he
will fall apart...I wont let that happen.
I promised I would tell you...so here it is...
in short, and with no details:
Sanders dad drank himselves into an early grave when Sander was 5 I think..a while after that his mom comited suicide. Sander was placed in the care of an elderly uncle. And this man abused, raped and mistreated him for years. He died suddenly when Sander was 10 or 11. He is not sure...and Sander was placed first in a childrens home then in vareous fosterhomes until the age of 14 or 15...when he moved into the grouphome where (my stephdad to be) worked.
I can't write this without crying...it hurts so much to know what he has been through. But I can't change his past...just make his present good.
I can just love him even more.
He needs to see someone about this, a psykologist or some other therapist that can help him dealing with his past....but I am trying not to push him right now. So far we have not told many people. It is up to him...
So now you know too...
Love Ravn
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Our past shapes our futures.
Sander is who he is now cos of where he has come from.
I was sent to a "family friend" to live from 11-14 and he raped me almost every night.I can still remmeber staring at the wallpaper while he did it.
We can choose to be victims or survivors and i think we need to be stronger than that.
We need to be FIGHTERS! not one thing in this life is easy..its a fkng hard road but in the sadness there is also overwhelming BLISS and joy that somehow makes all the pain go away.
I love you guys.Youve become such good friends of mine and i love talking to you...even tho you shock me LOL!!!
Hugs and big kisses to you both xoxo
Dear one, I've been away for several days on holiday. What a sad situation for both you and Sander. However, you have it absolutely right - you can do nothing about his past, but you are such a lovely part of his present and future. I, too, hope that he'll decide to see someone to unlock some of this pain but that will happen when he decides it will.
I think of you both everyday with the hope that things will get better for you on all fronts as I KNOW they will.
Love,
Firethorne
Post a Comment