Selfpitty...

Yesterday it happened again...Sander had an attack.

I was out with one of our nurses doing some shopping in Oslo.
And Sander scared the shit of poor Kris
who was the one finding him unconcious
in the hall.
Lucky Iver knew what to do.
He stabelized Sander so he could breath freely
and comanded Kris to get Trine.
And Trine told me later that he was so calm and kind with Sander.
Taking care of him til the abulance got there.

So now I am on my own...
The boys has gone home...I did not want them around for tomorrow.
Sander is in hospital, and I am going there
tomorrow to drain...and I realy don't want too!!!
I have had such a good time now...and I don't want it to end yet :(
I try to think of the benfits of the good days to come after I am done hurting,
but it does'nt help. The pain is much to severe for me now.
Tearing my body to bits...wearing me out totaly.
I saw that Sander had written that it is harder on me...
and he is right...it realy is.

I think my pain is beginning to match his when he has an attack.....

Full of selfpitty...huh..

I am sorry...but I just cant bring myself to do better tonight..
I hope...wherever you are in the world...
that you never ever have to endure such pain...

Never ever...

Love Ravn