I have been reading back on my blogg these days...some life...
I dear say it has not been the funniest thing to read!
What a boring life!!
But it have made me miss many of you guys who used to be out there in the big cyberworld...
How are you all? Where are you? Are you still here reading? Bigg and HB, Joe, Leo, Wife, Countrygirl, Swan, Ron, Jimmy??
Even Butterflies and Firethorn seems to have abandoned me...and I can't help worrying...and hoping that you are ok and buissy with your lives.
It would be fun if you took time to write and tell me...and doe's anybody know what happened to Bigg and HB?? I miss HB so much...and I cant get in touch with him:(
I love you all!
Ravn
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Still hanging in here...
Did u think u was rid of me? Naaaa....
I am still hanging in here...we both are.
But life is bitchy right now, and we have both been in hospital.
I just got out yesterday, and Sander is still there.
Hurting after a major attac that almost made me think I would loose him.
It was realy scary stuff. And the worst one so far.
Me....I've been going in and out of hospital all spring.
Hurting from draining,
getting maybe a day or twos break from the pain until another draining is due.
It sucks. It sucks big time!!
On the bright side, our houseplan is ready!
And the house we are building with Trine and Simon will be ready by christmas (yeay)
It has become a onestory building with two separate apartments.
We first wanted two floors, but then Sander wouldn't be able to go up and vissit upstairs,
so it is better to have it all on the same level.
We will have a big open plan kichen/diner/livingroom.
Two bedrooms (the main one with an en suite) a nursesstation.
A separate bathroom, utillityroom and a garage.
A big wooden sundeck will run all around the house
and be shared with the other flat.
That is slightly bigger than ours.
The plot is not far from our house,
but located on a hilltopp with grate vieves over the suroundings.
It is bit scary selling of the house I grew up in,
but we have to do this to give Sander a better life.
It will be better for all of us I think.
And the kids wont even have to dress to come and see us.
That will be great, and Trine will continue as our nightnurse.
So It will all turn out for the best.
We had the most fabulous spring,
but beeing coped up in hospital most of the time we have not been able to enjoy it much.
This week the weather have decided on bringing back winter.
Not so cool. It is feeeeezing outside.
We all worry for Sander after the last attack.
It is not suposed to happen anymore,
and it is cerainly not suposed to almost kill him!!!
What to do??
He is silent and I supose he is scared shitless.
But he never says. He never do.
So our little world goes on...
how are u all coping out there?
But life is bitchy right now, and we have both been in hospital.
I just got out yesterday, and Sander is still there.
Hurting after a major attac that almost made me think I would loose him.
It was realy scary stuff. And the worst one so far.
Me....I've been going in and out of hospital all spring.
Hurting from draining,
getting maybe a day or twos break from the pain until another draining is due.
It sucks. It sucks big time!!
On the bright side, our houseplan is ready!
And the house we are building with Trine and Simon will be ready by christmas (yeay)
It has become a onestory building with two separate apartments.
We first wanted two floors, but then Sander wouldn't be able to go up and vissit upstairs,
so it is better to have it all on the same level.
We will have a big open plan kichen/diner/livingroom.
Two bedrooms (the main one with an en suite) a nursesstation.
A separate bathroom, utillityroom and a garage.
A big wooden sundeck will run all around the house
and be shared with the other flat.
That is slightly bigger than ours.
The plot is not far from our house,
but located on a hilltopp with grate vieves over the suroundings.
It is bit scary selling of the house I grew up in,
but we have to do this to give Sander a better life.
It will be better for all of us I think.
And the kids wont even have to dress to come and see us.
That will be great, and Trine will continue as our nightnurse.
So It will all turn out for the best.
We had the most fabulous spring,
but beeing coped up in hospital most of the time we have not been able to enjoy it much.
This week the weather have decided on bringing back winter.
Not so cool. It is feeeeezing outside.
We all worry for Sander after the last attack.
It is not suposed to happen anymore,
and it is cerainly not suposed to almost kill him!!!
What to do??
He is silent and I supose he is scared shitless.
But he never says. He never do.
So our little world goes on...
how are u all coping out there?
Love Ravn.
Friday, February 17, 2012
The joys of beeing a bystander.
And so the winter slowly turns towards spring...it is raining. Spring is not normally due until April, but with the rain and all I swear I can almost smell it.
Here in Casa "Ravn and Sander" life goes on...I have spent the better part of last week in hospital after a drainig from hell, and Sander spent almost two weeks in there due to an attack and pain that wouldnt leave. He still hurts...I still hurt. We are two broken toys in this big old toybox called life.
Next week is wintervacation, and Granny is going up to Trondheim to vissit my babysis. Iver (still not ok from the last inflam) will stay with us for the week.
He has not been able to go back to school after xmas yet, and my heart bleeds for him.
Lasse has left us. He and Peter got to rent a flat downtown Oslo, and we don't se much of them theese days. Can't say I blame them. We are no fun to be around. Our 87 years old neighbour has more action in her life than we have.
A year has gone by since Arn died, and we all miss him terribly, and I don't know ...maybe Lasse is rushing in to things. I don't know. I wish him and Peter the best. I just hope it is more than sex thats binding them to each other.
I am once again so goddamned tired and depressed, and I realy can't se no way out of this parodi of a life we are living. The single thing that keeps me hanging in there is Sander, and my love for him...but we are both so run down and tired from winter and constant pain. Nothing is fun anymore. (Sorry for writing this, but it is a sad fackt.)
There is not much joy in beeing a bystander to life. So forgive me for not writing here so often anylonger. I have nothing to write about realy...
Love Ravn.
Here in Casa "Ravn and Sander" life goes on...I have spent the better part of last week in hospital after a drainig from hell, and Sander spent almost two weeks in there due to an attack and pain that wouldnt leave. He still hurts...I still hurt. We are two broken toys in this big old toybox called life.
Next week is wintervacation, and Granny is going up to Trondheim to vissit my babysis. Iver (still not ok from the last inflam) will stay with us for the week.
He has not been able to go back to school after xmas yet, and my heart bleeds for him.
Lasse has left us. He and Peter got to rent a flat downtown Oslo, and we don't se much of them theese days. Can't say I blame them. We are no fun to be around. Our 87 years old neighbour has more action in her life than we have.
A year has gone by since Arn died, and we all miss him terribly, and I don't know ...maybe Lasse is rushing in to things. I don't know. I wish him and Peter the best. I just hope it is more than sex thats binding them to each other.
I am once again so goddamned tired and depressed, and I realy can't se no way out of this parodi of a life we are living. The single thing that keeps me hanging in there is Sander, and my love for him...but we are both so run down and tired from winter and constant pain. Nothing is fun anymore. (Sorry for writing this, but it is a sad fackt.)
There is not much joy in beeing a bystander to life. So forgive me for not writing here so often anylonger. I have nothing to write about realy...
Love Ravn.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Almost like real life...
So the winter goes by in our little part of the world. We are seemingly ok. That means we are living almost as other humans. Loving, laughing, beeing...pain still present, but I can cope. It feels like having a break (exept for the drainings)
and I am beeing thankful.
But this week is drain free and I plan to make the most of it. Sander and me made the most delicuos dinner tonight. Pork ribs made Asian style..it was realy good and spicy.
It is (as you know) mainly Sander that does the cooking around here, but I am learning and helping too..we are sort of hooked on Thai-food these days. So good and savory. So tomorrow we will go shopping for some more grocerys and make a Tom Ka Gai soup...mmm. We try to eat healthy, and we try to avoid sugar and most carbs. So no potatoes or tradisjonel bread or pasta in our diet. We make our own, and bake our own bread as well.
Also it is time for me to plan for my loves birthday on February 24th. What shall I give him? How shall we celebrate? I know he would want a trip to the mountains, but he cant ski anymore, and he used to love skiing and snowboarding, so I am not sure it will be a success. He might be depressed instead. What do you think?
But even if things are ok theese days we can't help worrying over Iver. He is down the same road as me it seems. With an infamation that want leave and draining every fourth night, and it reminds me so much of me...of how I was when I was the same age. And I do not want this for him!
and I am beeing thankful.
But this week is drain free and I plan to make the most of it. Sander and me made the most delicuos dinner tonight. Pork ribs made Asian style..it was realy good and spicy.
It is (as you know) mainly Sander that does the cooking around here, but I am learning and helping too..we are sort of hooked on Thai-food these days. So good and savory. So tomorrow we will go shopping for some more grocerys and make a Tom Ka Gai soup...mmm. We try to eat healthy, and we try to avoid sugar and most carbs. So no potatoes or tradisjonel bread or pasta in our diet. We make our own, and bake our own bread as well.
Also it is time for me to plan for my loves birthday on February 24th. What shall I give him? How shall we celebrate? I know he would want a trip to the mountains, but he cant ski anymore, and he used to love skiing and snowboarding, so I am not sure it will be a success. He might be depressed instead. What do you think?
But even if things are ok theese days we can't help worrying over Iver. He is down the same road as me it seems. With an infamation that want leave and draining every fourth night, and it reminds me so much of me...of how I was when I was the same age. And I do not want this for him!
Monday, December 26, 2011
A very windy christmas.
I am glad the farm is still standing! We have had the worst storm (hurrycane) in over 30 years. Trees falling, roofs blowing off and elektrisity gone. The coast had the worst wind, but even here trees have gone down and we lost the power for over 12 hours yesterday. I most admit it was somehow cosy to sit by the big kitchenfire and drink mulled wine with candles litt all over the place...reading storys to each other. Very old fashion and xmasy!
It has been great out here, even if i have felt better.Iver and I have spent a great deal of time on the sofas in the livingroom reading and watching tv. Still I have enjoyd myself. I think we all have. Even Lasse says he's had a nice christmas. Him and Sander and me went outside by midnight xmas eve to light a candle in the snow for Arn. It was realy peaceful and beautiful, and Lasse got to cry a bit witch I think did him good.
I am not sure when we will head for home. But we will be home by newyears eve I think. I miss my bed, and I think Lasse will die from hornyness soon if he does'nt get to be with Peter!
It has been great out here, even if i have felt better.Iver and I have spent a great deal of time on the sofas in the livingroom reading and watching tv. Still I have enjoyd myself. I think we all have. Even Lasse says he's had a nice christmas. Him and Sander and me went outside by midnight xmas eve to light a candle in the snow for Arn. It was realy peaceful and beautiful, and Lasse got to cry a bit witch I think did him good.
I am not sure when we will head for home. But we will be home by newyears eve I think. I miss my bed, and I think Lasse will die from hornyness soon if he does'nt get to be with Peter!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
At Grannys.
We are installed for the christmas vacation in Grannys house out on the farm. Lasse draw us out there this afternoon. He is spending the hollydays with us. His first christmas without Arn. It is bound to bring back some memorys. I keep thinking it is just as well that Peter is spending the christmas with his family. It will be good for Lasse spending some time without him this christmas I guess.
Oh, maybe I did not tell you about that! Lasse and Peter have been seeing each other fore some time now. At first i thought it was purely sex between them, but after a while it seems like it has grown in to something more serious..and that Peter for the first time in his life will admitt that he is gay. ADT!
He has been living more at our house than in his own apartment lately, and they are talking about getting a place together. I am not sure if this is wise. maybe it is to soon to hop into a new relationship, but Lasse has to decide for himselves.
I think for the first time in his life he is getting all the sex he wants, and I guess he is thrilled!
Out here in the countryside at Grannys...Iver is a bit better (for those who doesnt know he has been back in hospital fighting of another outburst of inflamation.)
He is still in pain, but the fever has gone. I worry a lot over him. because I am afraid he will end upp like me. Dear God! I realy don't wish that for him!
I still hurt a bit from Mondays draining, and I have trouble sleeping before my painkiller kicks inn. Sander is sound asleep beside me. Blond hair spreding out over a blue pillow. He is so beautiful...my love.
Tomorrow it is "little christmas eve" we will decorate the tree and help preparing for the feast on christmas eve. I hope we are going to have a good time. I hope nobody is in pain. I hope nobody ends up in hospital, and I hope all of you out there will have a magic christmas.
I love you all!
Ravn.
Oh, maybe I did not tell you about that! Lasse and Peter have been seeing each other fore some time now. At first i thought it was purely sex between them, but after a while it seems like it has grown in to something more serious..and that Peter for the first time in his life will admitt that he is gay. ADT!
He has been living more at our house than in his own apartment lately, and they are talking about getting a place together. I am not sure if this is wise. maybe it is to soon to hop into a new relationship, but Lasse has to decide for himselves.
I think for the first time in his life he is getting all the sex he wants, and I guess he is thrilled!
Out here in the countryside at Grannys...Iver is a bit better (for those who doesnt know he has been back in hospital fighting of another outburst of inflamation.)
He is still in pain, but the fever has gone. I worry a lot over him. because I am afraid he will end upp like me. Dear God! I realy don't wish that for him!
I still hurt a bit from Mondays draining, and I have trouble sleeping before my painkiller kicks inn. Sander is sound asleep beside me. Blond hair spreding out over a blue pillow. He is so beautiful...my love.
Tomorrow it is "little christmas eve" we will decorate the tree and help preparing for the feast on christmas eve. I hope we are going to have a good time. I hope nobody is in pain. I hope nobody ends up in hospital, and I hope all of you out there will have a magic christmas.
I love you all!
Ravn.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Still around!
Yes, I am still alive....amazing realy..
Life goes on and christmas is creeping nearer.Thank God for cybershopping! I couldnt have bought any presents without it. But this year I actually had a lot of fun doing my christmas-shopping on line. Stress and painfree!
Theres no big change in my condition. But the pain is a little less severe, thank God! I am beginning to look forward to christmas at the farm with my family. today we have trimmed the house with christmas decorations and tomorrow we will do the tree. A little late u might think, but actually it is early in Norway where moast people dont decorate their trees until Desember 23. That is because we celebrate christmas until January the 6th...some even for another week! Until the 20th day of christmas! We usuallu take the decorations down on the 6th though..and we like to put them up a bit early so we can enjoy the last week before christmas in peace and quiet.
I am going inn to drain tomorrow. Cant't say i look forward to it, and I hope it will be less rough on me this time. Hopefully I'll be back home Wednesday. Have a great week all you saints and sinners out there!
Love Ravn.
Life goes on and christmas is creeping nearer.Thank God for cybershopping! I couldnt have bought any presents without it. But this year I actually had a lot of fun doing my christmas-shopping on line. Stress and painfree!
Theres no big change in my condition. But the pain is a little less severe, thank God! I am beginning to look forward to christmas at the farm with my family. today we have trimmed the house with christmas decorations and tomorrow we will do the tree. A little late u might think, but actually it is early in Norway where moast people dont decorate their trees until Desember 23. That is because we celebrate christmas until January the 6th...some even for another week! Until the 20th day of christmas! We usuallu take the decorations down on the 6th though..and we like to put them up a bit early so we can enjoy the last week before christmas in peace and quiet.
I am going inn to drain tomorrow. Cant't say i look forward to it, and I hope it will be less rough on me this time. Hopefully I'll be back home Wednesday. Have a great week all you saints and sinners out there!
Love Ravn.
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