Sulk...

Home...

I had a rerun of yesterday..
I managed ok when i was at the hospital...but hurt
and puked again on the way home.
I can se that this realy is not very sound...but I do
want to be there..so wtf can i do?

Sander is the same as yesterday...and they managed to get
Ivers fever down a little...and he get to share a room with
a cutelooking 17 year old thats in for a torsion..
thats good...they can keep each other company.

Sander fell asleep when I was there...and I let him sleep..
I sat for awhile and whatched him...then mom came
and I drowe home with her after she had seen Iver.

I am in bed now...kind of tired and very lonely.
I ought to jack of...Cause of my "condition" I need to
empty at least once a day...to keep my prostate from getting clogged
but I am to tired(Yea, u read me right)
besides it soooo boring on my own...*sigh*

I want my lover:(

*sulk*

Morning...

I have tossed and turned all night.

The pain and bad dreams has made me even more tired
than yesterday. But I will go to the hospital just the same.
Granny has got a cold and is not alowed in there.

Ivers brother promized to bee with him this morning..
Then I will stuff myself with painkillers and take a cab
sometime this afternoon so I can be with both Sander and Iver
same as ysterday.

Have a nice day all..

love...

Wednsday night...

I have spent most of today in hospital.

Iver had to go in this afternoon..due to the swelling...
Probebly the infection was still buried in his body
and the flu-virus somehow set it on again.
He hates beeing there...and he is afraid.
And he can't be with Sander who is in another unit now.
So I have stayed with him.
And when Sander got back from the tests tonight
I have gone back and forth beneath the two.
Until my Stephdad came and took care of Iver.

Sander is in pain from the konstant testing...
they sedate him, but it still hurts.
He doesn't wanna talk ...
so I have just layd beside him in his bed and held him.
And felt how the pain jerked his body....fuck..

He doesn't cry...and he doesn't complain..
He just lays there.....all silent...
and my heart bleeds for him.

I have been in pain too...
but i havent had time to think about it before
we was in the car on our way home.
Then the pain suddenly hit me ..
and Stephan had to pull over on the highway because I had to puke.

No I am back in my bed...so sad and tired that I could sleep for a month..
I need to be strong...pleace...

Pleace...

Wednsday morning..

Iver will probebly have to go to hospital today.

His temprature is way upp
and his nuts started to swell and hurt again last night.
He has spent the night in Sanders bed
drifting in and out of sleep...poor baby.
Right now we wait for my doc to come chec on him.

Rein went to Sander last night to discover he was in
very much pain...I feared that...cause he didn't call me.
I will try and go to him tonight ...I am still in pain but
if I can get somebody to drive me there I will manage
ok I think. I miss him and I want to be there for him
and comfort him.

Have a nice day u people!

Tuesday morning..

I suposed it's because it's been two weeks since my last
draining that I hurt more than usual...

My stephdad spendt the night down here with me...
to manage the morph sups. througout the night.

Iver has got the flu...or what u call it...he has a fever, a sore throath
headace and a bodyace. So no school for him.
(We were very worried in case the fever was due to his nuts
acting up again....luckily it was not..)
I have gotten my anual flu-shot...so he wont pass it on to me.

He has moved into Sanders bed...that way we can keep each
other company. Besides Rein will come to take care of us later on.
(To make sure I wont puke on Iver i guess) LOL
Grannys beeing with Sander and then has a dentistapointment.

I realy hope they wont hurt him to much today...
and I hope they will be able to
locate it quickly. last time it took like forever...
and he was totaly worn out from the pain
before they finaly operated on him.
Don't want that to happen again...

Iver is sleeping beside me...I will do so too...

Monday raport..

Today was hellish...
and I managed to pass out completly and scare the shit out of Iver
who "Babysat" me.. Lucky for Iver (and me)
Dan came online on my msn
and instructed him in how to take care of me..
I have been hurting badly most of the day..
Sander is ok, they have just run bloddtests on him today..
tomorrow they will start provoking the atacks..

Iver is suposed to start school tomorrow...
but tonight his teprature sudenly went up.
So we'll have to wait and see whats up...

I'll try and get some sleep while I can...

love..

Alive and alove...

We make love as if it was the last time...

We can't seem to get enough of each other.
It is like we want to make up for all the lost lovemaking
that the next weeks or maybe months will bring.
We find ourselves holding hands even when we eat..
We shower together...we hold each other all through
the night.
At times like this I feel that his body sort of provides
me with the energy I need...better than food, better
than drugs or medication..
I just need to hold him...to tuch, feel, taste and
edulge him ...all of him

Sex like this is so emotionell...so lifesaving..
so necesary now...we both feel it.
And so this last few days we have shut the rest
of the world out.
All we realy need are each other...to be the closest one can be
His warm shivering body under mine...watching hes sweet face
as I slowly ...so slowly brings him towards climax.
bring myself towards climax..over and over
Until it hurts and even then some more....

Our love has never felt as strong as it is right now...
I have never wanted him more...he has never been
this eager...this desperate?

I will not analyse this...I will just bee in it..just bee alive
and alove...(isn't that a good word for it ?)

I supose by monday we will both be totaly drained...both
metaphoricly and bodily...
They are gonna have a hard time draining me at hospital...
thats for sure :D