I am
totally confused, scared shitless, a bit ashamed, a bit puzzled, a bit guilyt , but
at the same time
I feel
alive for the first time in many years it seem.
You see. I
have met somebody. His name is Mio, and he is 22 years old, or should I say
young. He is WAY too young!! :(
I didn’t
meet him just now. I have known him for a while. Heis babybrother came moving in with Ravns
mom and stepdad last august . Due to a
troubled relation to his dad, and Mio has been with him a lot. And at
first I did not notice him, or of course I did, but I did not care.
He is real cute and handsome in a wild way. Maybe he reminds me a bit of Lasse in his younger years, but with the biggest, bluest eyes I have ever seen .He has dark brown hair, and he is wearing glasses. Oh, man he is just beautiful, and I am ashamed.
How can I even think of him this way. Me, who would never ever love again when Ravn died ! And now, maybe I can.
He makes my heart beat faster and my blood rush through my body. He is so young, so cheerful, so much alive. And he is in love with me. With ME of all people!! But can I do this to him? Drag him into my gloomy world. I am no picknick to be with. I am in pain most of the time and partly in a wheelchair. I will not be a great asset to him that's for sure. He deserves someone young, healty and happy, but man, he makes me feel so verry much alive. I have a heart on the mend, and a body acing for him. I can't think of antything but him. And I fell I am betraying Ravn.
I hate it, and I love it. Help!!
He is real cute and handsome in a wild way. Maybe he reminds me a bit of Lasse in his younger years, but with the biggest, bluest eyes I have ever seen .He has dark brown hair, and he is wearing glasses. Oh, man he is just beautiful, and I am ashamed.
How can I even think of him this way. Me, who would never ever love again when Ravn died ! And now, maybe I can.
He makes my heart beat faster and my blood rush through my body. He is so young, so cheerful, so much alive. And he is in love with me. With ME of all people!! But can I do this to him? Drag him into my gloomy world. I am no picknick to be with. I am in pain most of the time and partly in a wheelchair. I will not be a great asset to him that's for sure. He deserves someone young, healty and happy, but man, he makes me feel so verry much alive. I have a heart on the mend, and a body acing for him. I can't think of antything but him. And I fell I am betraying Ravn.
I hate it, and I love it. Help!!
Oh God! I don't know what to do.!!
Man…I am SO damned
confused!
1 comment:
Sander - Yes, still keeping an eye out for you!
Ravn loved you so much. You MUST know that this is what he would want for you, to know that you are living and giving yourself to happiness. He would not want you to continue to live in a twilight of mourning him.
You NEED to be alive, you need to love again and neither of those things is a betrayal of Ravn. Instead they honor him and honor what he always cared about most which is you and your happiness.
Enjoy Mio - laugh, love. It is way way way overdue.
Much love,
Firethorne
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