Sometimes it is good to be all alone...or almost alone. The nurses are there all the time :(
Granny is going to be with Dad's family for a week. So Sander and Lasse are going to stay on the farm to babysit Iver while I'm having fun in hospital draining tomorrow.
I don't mind them going. I am not great company.Sander wanted to stay here, but I urged him to leave. I think I need to be by myself for a while. Besides I will be hurting badly most of the time anyway.
Nothing seems to cheer me up nowadays...I realy don't care anymore what happens to me. I know...it is not good. But I cant bring my self to care. I am so damned tired of it all. I feel old and spent...I feel done...
Don't get me wrong. I am not going to kill myself. I just don't know how to find anything pleasent in my life anymore. It is as I lost the will to fight...and I can't find it even if I am trying. Wich I am not....sorry..
Sander is better of without my gloomy disposition ...I even think..in the middel of the night..when pain keeps me awake..that he and Lasse would be a good match. Even wishing for it...cause then I would not have to keep going on...I am so unbelivable,utterly fed upp and tired...I think I resign...
I am sorry..forget it, will you...
Sorry..
About Me
- Ravn...
- Norway
- My name is Ravn...meaning raven in english.. Norwegian,boy,gay, 25 year old, In love with the 70ts. Tom Waits,vampires, and Italien movies. I live with my boyfriend in our very own house. Both of us struggles with chronic diseases, but love helps us survive. (My God! That was pathetic)
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Thank's Leo !!
3 comments:
Ravn:
You can find the will to carry on. Your family needs you, and you're young! I am 58, and I start radiation therapy on Thursday for stage 3 prostate cancer.
I just had surgery on the prostate 3 months ago, and they found cancer in the tissue samples they removed. I already have some problems, but they think they can correct them when radiation is finished. I go 5 days a week for ten weeks. They say I might be able to work throughout, but don't count on it!
Just know that I am praying for you!
Ron
Buffalo, NY
I am so sorry for you, Ron. I hope radiation will do the trick.
I am also sorry for beeing a pain in the ass sometimes, when I realy should pull my act together and stop whining.
Love Ravn
You're never a pain in the ass! I know what you're going through! Sometimes we have to whine! Today was the first time they turned on the radiation. It was kinda hot, no pain, but I am tired! 49 more treatments to go!
Hope you are feeling better!
Love, Ron
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